Working Mom
While I was pregnant with Caleb, several men told me that I shouldn’t return to work because “that is not what a Christian mom does”, “I will live with the guilt of another woman raising my son”, “I would miss all his developmental milestones like walking or talking”, or “my son will have abandonment issues.” I was 6 months pregnant, emotional and just thought these guys were jerks. I thought it would be easy to return to work.
The second Caleb was born, my heart was forever changed. My heart just exploded with love. I would rock him in the middle of the night and thank God over and over again that I got the opportunity to be his mother. Also with that love came an intense pressure on how I was going to raise this boy into a man and make sure that he loved God with all his heart.
I was on maternity leave for 9 weeks, but during that time I still stayed in touch with the office. I missed work. I wanted to make sure they still knew I was dedicated. But, on the same hand, I cried daily because I was struggling with post pardum and wondering what if those men were right. Would Caleb really suffer from me going back to work? Would I really miss his first steps or his first words?
I knew that financially I would have to go back to work, but I still needed peace in my heart that I was making the right decision. My mom wrote me an email staying that I was stronger and smarter to let these men get to me. Then, my friend, Sara from community group called and I told her about my struggle. She told me to pray about it. Ask for peace if it was the right decision or not.
I prayed daily. I prayed hourly. I still found myself crying. I cried the whole week non-stop before I went back to work.
I can still tell you what books I read Caleb my first morning back to work before I dropped him off at daycare. I can tell you exactly where I was in route to daycare when I had to pull over the car because I was bawling and had to beg God for strength.
I came into work that day not knowing if I made the right decision. If we were more financially secure, would I have stayed home? Probably so. I remember being in the office and everyone doing their best to try to not make me cry. I would go pump and just cry because I missed my boy from the bottom of my heart. My friends all knew I was struggling and sent me flowers telling me they were praying for me. They were interceding for me when I didn’t have the strength.
I had received a promotion in October right before my maternity leave, so work was hectic and not only was I a new mom with little sleep but I was facing a steep learning curve. I heard some of the guys had a bet how long I would make it before I quit. It was right then I decided to prove them wrong.
It has been 9 months and 2 weeks since I returned to work. During that time, God has given me peace with my decision. It seems that daily I have to justify my decision to be a working mom. Even today, I was questioned on how I can have peace in my heart about something that isn’t God’s will.
So, the point of this post is to ask some important questions and maybe help another working mom.
The verses that have been quoted to me come from-
Titus 2:4-5: Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
1 Timothy 5:14- So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
In response, I would like to point out that no where in those verses does it say that a woman’s work should only be confined to the home. Have these men that question my decision read Proverbs 31? Verse 13 says the woman works with eager hands. Verse 14 says she brings food from afar. And, my favorite 16-18- She considers a field and buys it; out of HER earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. This biblical woman that the Bible calls The Wife of Nobel Character had to be working outside of the home.
Yes, the Bible in the New Testament commands me to manage my home and to love my husband and child. That is my mission in life. My priorities are Jesus first, Family second, Friends Third, and Work Fourth. I will not fail my family. I will always be there for them to love and support them! I fully recognize the significance and commandments I must follow as a mother. I pray daily that God will give me the wisdom and strength to be the wife and mother the Bible commands me to be.
When my husband and I get home from work, we don’t even turn on the TV so we can dedicate all our time to Caleb and our marriage. My house is clean. When my family is asleep I am making sure the counters are bleached, the house gets vacuumed twice a week, and everything for dinner is laid out so we can have a healthy meal when we get home from work.
You see, I am a strong woman. GOD gave me the ability to MANAGE both my home and at work. And, I have peace with my decision.
On a side note, I admire mothers who have the opportunity to stay at home with their children. Trust me, that isn’t easy either. They have a huge responsibility to fulfill and the same level of pressures I feel. God Bless you too!
When I asked the guy today if it ever occurred to him that this is God’s plan for my life, he suggested I examine my heart and look at the Bible to see what God’s word says. Well, I did. And, my answer is that God gave me a talent of being a great manager.
The last year was hard taking on a new position and learning how to be a great mom. At work, I was the only one on my team to receive the high performance rating during my annual review. I helped sell in millions of dollars of products all while doing the analysis hooked up to a breast pump to make sure my son was getting the best nutrition available.
At home, I have not missed one of Caleb’s developmental milestones. God has always provided me the opportunity to see his milestones. I saw Caleb roll over for the first time and I praised God for that opportunity. I heard him say his first word. I saw him take his first step. You see if this wasn’t God’s plan for my life, would he have allowed all these things to happen? I think not! If you ask my husband he would tell you that I am still Caleb’s favorite person too!
While this choice is not for everyone, it is for me and my family. I have prayed and I have peace. So in closing, I will be praying for those that question my decision. I will pray that your children grow up knowing they can do anything they put their hearts and mind to including being a working mom if that is the desires of their heart. God has given me the skill set I need to do both and with his grace and direction I will do both well. The praise all goes to God because it is him that gives me the strength to keep going, it is him that allows me to be self controlled when people question my decision to work, and it is him whose grace is sufficient to forgive us all of our sins and set us free from our guilt. And, I have to thank God for giving me such an amazing husband that helps me with all the daily chores, believes in me, and loves me unconditionally. Without his support, this wouldn’t be possible.
It sounds like I think I am a great mom and wife and I am not. I struggle daily with having enough energy and patience. But, God’s grace is sufficient for me. And hopefully someday I will fulfill his plans for me. My favorite song right now is He’s Still Working On Me. Very true.